Every week, the 2 Sense Show receives hundreds of letters, birthdays and baptism requests. Naturally, not all of them can be read. 2 carefully reviews each letter and selects the best ones to be read on the show.

This FAQ will tell you everything you need to know to give your letter what it needs to be selected for the show. Of course, we can't guarantee that your letter will be read, even if you follow all of these guidelines, but we can tell you that it will give you a much better chance.

LETTER WRITING TIPS

Taking time to make sure your letter is neat, clean and readable can be well worth it. Here are a few tips to help your letter stand out in the pile.

1. Use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation to the best of your ability. 2. Keep your letter brief and to the point. Only one or two paragraphs should do it.
3. Don't write your life story.

LETTERS TO AVOID

Every week, a certain number of letters ask the same general questions. These letters are not likely to be selected as they have probably already been answered on the show more than once. Here are the most popular questions asked, and their answers. Avoid asking similar questions in your letter.

Q: Dear 2. I'd like to respond to a listener who wrote in on your last show. Can you give me his/her e-mail address?
A: No. We do not give out the e-mail information of anyone who writes into the show. We'd also prefer not to be asked to forward your e-mail address along to any other listener. Running the show is quite enough work without being a messaging service as well.

Q: Dear 2. Where can I find the website/art/material of person-you've-had-on-your-show?
A: Before you ask this question, please take 8 seconds of your life and use Google. I'm not a search engine. Nine times out of ten, when this question is asked, I have whatever URL is being asked for in less than 10 seconds from a simple Google search, then sit wondering why the writer couldn't have done it himself.

Q: Dear 2. Who are your comedic influences?
A: Bill Cosby, Lucille Ball, Mitch Hedberg, John Stewart.

Q: Dear 2. How do I tell my parents that I'm gay/furry?
A: You don't. There are plenty of things about yourself that you've kept private from your parents, why would you want to tell them something that you know will likely cause them to go completely batshit and make your life hell over? You have a right to privacy, and who you prefer to have sex with should be in that area. If you absolutely must tell them, wait till you move out of the house.

Q: Dear 2. My mother/father has found out that I'm gay/furry and they're making my life hell. What do I do?
A: You deal with it. You shouldn't have let them find out in the first place. But if they have, the only thing you can to is keep a stiff upper lip and deal with whatever they've decided to do with you until you can legally pack up and move to your own place.

Q: Dear 2. My parents/friends/significant other/high school/job is making my life suck a lot. What should I do?
A: If someone or something in your life is making it suck, then go away from it. Move out, get new friends, dump the bitch, get a new job. If you don't want to get away from it, then it's obviously not making your life suck enough to want to be without it. Remember, no one's life is perfect. Everyone has to deal with suck sometimes. Just do what you have to do and look forward to your next night with a bottle of Jim Beam.

Q: Dear 2. I'm an "out and proud" gay person and I have a bone to pick with you about telling gay kids not to come out of the closet!
A: ...and I'm sure that someone, somewhere cares. But it ain't me. Take your cruisade somewhere else. If you think it's more important for a minor to have parents who know details of his sex life than to have parents at all, then there's far more wrong with you than there is with me.

Q: Dear 2. I live in Middle-Of-Nowhere, Kansas and there are no furries here. What should I do?
A: You're wrong. There are furries there. I don't care where you live or how isolated you think you are, there ARE other furries there. You can live in a town that has fewer people in it than Tammy Fay Baker's vagina and there will be other furries. You just haven't found them yet. If I were you, I'd start a mailing list for your area, check the furry communities, talk to people. You might be able to find them.

Q: Dear 2. You mispronounced my name when you read it on the show! What gives?
A: You have a crazy name. Many writers are from the furry fandom. Furries invent their own names and pronuciations. There's no way I can guess them. If your name is "Fahdjghenevis" and you pronounce it "Dave", don't expect me to get it right.